Defne's Birth Story

I’d like to thank to each and everyone of you for your kind wishes.

This week marks the fourth week of the baby. I can’t believe how fast time is flying! Having the doula for the first two weeks was great! When she was finished, I was a bit nervous about how to handle things.Although tiring, it was easier than I thought. You just have to plan everything in advance. Thanks to my energy, it is also back up to where it was before birth.
Much of my time is devoted to breastfeeding these days. We have a hungry girl here! She protests it very loudly when her food is served a few minutes late ; ) But she’s developing very well. She was born 2870gr, then she lost some weight (as usual with the newborns), she was 2650 gr and now she's 3480gr.
When we’re out and about I carry her in the sling. She loves being tucked in there. You don’t often see people carrying their babies in slings here. They usually use buggies or Baby Björn carriers. So it provokes a lot of interest when they see us. As Defne lies there in the foetus position she can’t be seen. I think some people look at me wondering what I have there, and some people, usually women, understand what is there and smile at me or talk to me.
I’m sending this post from our local library. Defne is lying on my lap, sleeping in the sling. As you imagine this isn’t a very comfortable position for me, so that’s all for now.
I’m leaving you with a photo and our birth story:





Defne's Birth Story


My story begins on 31st of December. That day I had a “show” which meant that I’d soon be in labour. From that point on I was tuned to every signal that my body would give.
During the night of 2nd January, as I made my regular tours to the loo, I recognised that I had a lot of discharge, it was not mucusy. I thought that it might be my waters broken but I waited until the morning to be sure. My pantyliners became wet pretty soon I changed them and the discharge was odourless. After having checked a pregnancy book I was almost sure that my waters was broken.In the morning I called the Royal Surrey County Hospital and booked an appointment for 11.30 a.m.
I decided to take my labour bag with me, but it was too heavy so I left all the baby stuff at home, and only took mine. I thought that Soner could come home and pick the baby stuff, should we need them.

At about noon, it was finally my turn. The midwife checked the baby’s heart rate, her movements, my urine and tension and finally decided that my waters was broken. But I had no contractions. So she told me to go home and come back next morning at 8 a.m. She then added that my placenta should be checked via ultrasound scan before going back home, so she would book an urgent appointment for me. If the placenta was lying low, then I shouldn’t go home. If everything was fine, I was to go home and if I wasn’t in labour within 24 hours, I might be induced.

While I was waiting for her to book an appointment, I had the first contraction which was really strong. At that moment I thought that the labour was to begin. When she came back, I told her that I was having contractions and I asked her to check my cervix but she declined. She had booked an appointment for 3.40p.m which was an hour later so I left the suite and went downstairs to the ultrasound department. I could hardly walk, I was having contractions one after another so I asked the receptionist if there was a room where I could rest because I didn’t want to sit and go through the contractions in the waiting room full of couples. I was told that there was no other place, so I sat there breathing trough contractions. I was very disturbed and hoped that some staff would see me in that condition and offer something else but no one seemed to bother. It was just another pregnant woman sitting next to me, who asked if I was well and if I wanted a glass of water. Having waited for more than one hour, at about 4 o’clock it was my turn. The technician was shocked to see me. I could hardly lie on the mattress. Lying on your back hurts so much when you’re having contractions. She scanned me quickly and said “you’re in labour!”, she then immediately called someone to transfer me to the delivery suite. She told me that she had never scanned somebody in labour before! Whilst being transfered, I called Soner and told him that I was in labour.

The moment I met the midwife in charge, I was really disappointed. She was very young, unexperienced and so laid back that she got on my nerves. I had her put my TENS machine on and wanted her to fill my hot water bottles – in the antenatal classes we were told that they’d be helpful during contractions, one for the tummy and one for the back-, but she said “ let’s wait for your husband to come and fill them, we wouldn’t want to burn you”. I wasn’t able to discuss with her since my contractions were very strong. I told her that I wanted to use the birthing pool and wanted her to check my cervix, but she declined and suggested I should go as long as I could and she would then check my cervix. I’d be able to use the pool once I was 6-7 cm. dilated.
Soner arrived around five o’clock. He filled the hot water bottles, massaged my back which helped me a lot. Suddenly I began to feel very cold. So he went to see the midwife ( did I mention we were left alone all this time?) and asked her what to do. She suggested that I should walk, which I couldn’t, because the contractions were coming every 2 minutes now and lasted about 1 minute. I was trembling so she suggested I might use the bath. We went to the bathroom, hoping that this would help but after a few minutes I wasn’t happy to be there, I began to feel colder and I began to feel the urge to push which I thought I shouldn’t at that stage.

At that time, for a few seconds I thought that I wouldn’t be able to carry on like this, may be I would need an epidural. I felt respect for the women who gave birth to their offsprings naturally. The contractions were really strong. Since this was my first labour, I had no idea at which stage of labour I was. Thanks to the midwife she didn’t give any clue, either! On the other hand I wanted to deliver this baby without any intervention. So we decided that we go back to the room and make the midwife check my cervix.

She said that if she begins to check my dilatation, she needed to do that every 4 hours. I accepted. Having no knowledge about dilatation is like following a road without a map. You don’t know where you exactly are, you don’t know how far along you’re, you feel like you’re lost. I wanted to know where I was.

While we were waiting for her, Soner said, “let’s hope you aren’t only 2cm” . I thought that I was at least 5cm. dilatated at that moment and that we would pass that night in that room having contractions one after another.

Then the midwife came and checked me and said that I was 9 cm! We were really surprised. I, again, reminded her the birthing pool, and guess what she said. “That might not be possible, because the baby might come out until the pool is made ready for you.” I couldn’t believe my ears!

We were transferred to the “Home from home delivery suite” where I wanted to give birth. By then, we had another midwife who was so respectful and caring. She immediately had the pool prepared for me and at about 7.15 pm I was in the pool. Being in the pool, relaxed me quickly. Water was warm and I was no longer trembling. The lights of the room were dimmed, the midwife and the student midwife were whispering. I had the chance to use gas and air which helped so much.

Soner and I were very really happy to be in this suite and the midwife told us that we would soon have our baby in our arms. After a few strong contractions and pushes, the baby’s head was there, in sight. She had lots of hair, they told me, then came the head and the arms. Soner told me that she opened her eyes in the pool, and was waving her arms.
It was 8.02 p.m. when she was born. She didn’t cry, I think this was the magic of water.

The midwife immediately gave the baby to me, and we sat in the pool as long as we wanted. She was such a lovely girl, her skin was as soft as silk. She was very alert.
I had always thought that I would be overwhelmed and cry at that moment, but I didn’t. I was so happy that we had this healthy bundle of joy in our arms.

Having sat there for about 20 minutes, we got out of the pool and went to the bed, so that I could deliver the placenta. I breastfed the baby, and had my stitches done. ( I ended up with 2 stitches) Since things progressed so quickly, Soner didn’t have the chance to go home and pick the baby stuff. Thankfully they had some baby clothes at the hospital!

I had a quick shower -I was surprised to be able to walk so easily- and around 1 a.m we were transferred to the post-natal suite. We left the hospital the next day.

The midwives kept telling me that I was very brave, that I had a very high pain threshold and suggested that I could have a homebirth next time. With every contraction, I thought that it would make a peak and then soon pass and I would be closer to my baby. I used the relaxation techniques that I learned during the antenatal classes but I know that if Soner wasn’t with me, it would be a lot more difficult. His support meant so much to me.
It was an amazing experience. I had always wanted a water birth. It’s not common in Turkey. When I learnt that it I had a chance to use a birthing pool at the local hospital, I decided that I’d go for it. I would recommend it to every woman if they have this chance. The first part of the labour was much more difficult, I reckon nobody guessed I’d have such a quick labour but at the end we had a beautiful water birth and a healthy baby.